Commitmentphobia

So, I guess I've always subconciously realized that I have a fear of commitment but never quite thought it through. My first major conscious realization was when I got accepted into Business school and I just couldnt force myself to decide which one of the two to pick. The real issue was not that I got into 2 really good schools but more that if I decided on which school to attend, I would be consciously leaving my work of 5 years for something I wasnt sure I would really like. Dont get me wrong, I know the benefits of business school I just wasnt quite ready to commit to it. If there was no deadline, I probaly would still be seating on the sideline asking which school is best masking my fear but becasue of deadlines.... here I am almost 1.5 years in with .5 left.

A similar issue is resurfacing again, I'm 1 semester and a month shy of getting my MBA and I've started to look into where to settle post MBA. Should I go to the city and rent a condo downtown to experience the condo young adult life or should I go to a not so city city and have more money in hand since taxes are cheaper and rent a townhouse... Snow vs. no snow. blah blah blah. Just thinking through this process gave me an insight into my problem

1) I like too many things - Somewhere in the last 3 - 5 years of my life, I've been exposed to so much more than I usually am used to. I owe most of it to my diverse groups of friends and to work and school experiences but the reality is that I've since realized that I want to try different things and not be forced to worry about anything
2) I cant think past 2 years on anything... So when people think about 5 year goals, except for financial planning reasons, I think they are crazy. I think I can blame some of this on my short attention span and my consulting background of moving from project to project - both definitely supported this short term future life. If business school was some sort of indefinite thing, I probabaly would still be seating on the sideline somewhere. It feels like before I get involved in something I need to know when the project ends if not I probably would never commit to that thing
3) Someone once pointed out to me that I need to have plans or else I could not funtion. I NEVER have a need to follow those plans but I literally would not function if those plans dont exist. And I actually realized this on a trip I was hosting. I planned up to 5 activities for my friend visiting and we never followed that list but I feel like incase we get bored or run out of ideas, we would have something to fall back on

How does this tie to relationships?
An MBA girlfriend and I were discussing possible work locations after school and I had mentioned that I could only see a job lasting for 2 years after which I would totally freak myself out. I mean I may stay at the job forever but if I thought the job was a forever gig, I would not take it. She mentioned that she felt the same way. She pointed out that she never quite understood why guys have a hard time commiting to relationships but having this fear of commiting to a job has given her a good sense of the fear guys have when they think marriage/relationships. I have to agree that I think that is so true. To an extent, I realize that there is nothing a firm can say to entice me to stay forever with them but if we take it a day at a time we may make it to forever...

I remember talking to my roommate about relationships once and I mentioned that the guy I end up with has to be patient because I realize that I would be "scared" to define everything and commit to everything... dont get me wrong I'll NEVER cheat on him but he would have to "trick" me into agreeing to long term on anything. I know it sounds weird. By default as a woman, I should be ready to settle down and think forever and I do have those dreams the only thing is that those dreams come with a fear of commiting to them...

I conclude with this... Being optimistic, I am CERTAIN that things would work out the way they do... fear of no fear life would turn out like its supposed to... :)